IOI Boulevard Parking FAIL: Inconvenienced by payment system

Last Friday night I met up with my girlfriends over dinner at Umai-ya which recently opened in IOI Boulevard. Located in a commercial area directly opposite IOI Mall, IOI Boulevard’s concept follows after Jaya One, with an array of coffee joints, bars, restaurants and an occasional live band performing in the foyer. Built within an already populated community of commercial properties, it only makes sense for IOI Boulevard to include ample parking space in its vicinity. For the unfamiliar, tenants include Munich, Kissaten, Otak Otak Place, XO Shabu Shabu, Pappa Rich, and Honeymoon Dessert to name a few.

When it comes to a big commercial building as such, we would expect the automated parking management system to be pretty standard i.e. we need to make payment before exiting the parking lot. I’m writing this blog post to announce to all in the web universe that the IOI Boulevard Parking payment system is MAJOR FAIL.

Here’s what happened:

I paid for my parking at the automated kiosk. Inserted RM 10 for a RM 2 payment (as i didn’t have small change). Instead of getting my change back, I was given a “refund receipt”, which instructed me to walk to the car park management office, and get my RM 8 back.

At this point, I was a bit concerned as I was alone, in a basement car park, and I had no idea where the heck the car park management office is at. Thankfully, it was a mere 20 meters from where the payment kiosk is located.

I walked over to the office and there was another couple in there and we realised that, THERE’S NO ONE THERE TO GIVE US OUR REFUND! I see phone numbers stuck on the wall, and I called one of the numbers. No answer.

Two minutes later, 2 of the parking management staff shows up, and takes the refund receipt from me and the couple. He asked me if I had RM 2, cos he only had RM 10. I looked at him and said, “If I had RM 2, I won’t have inserted RM 10 right?”. So you’d think he was using his brain after I said this but NO…he went on and asked the couple if they had RM 1 (cos their refund was RM 9). At this point, I almost fainted at his dumbness.

The couple managed to take out all of the coins they had and gave him RM 1.

Then, my turn. I decided to look for coins in my car and see if I had enough. Instead of the staff trying to get spare change, he asked me to exit the parking first, in case the 15 minute grace period was up (cos it’s like taking us forever to get my refund back right? wtf wtf)

I literally ran to my car, drove over to the management office, took out whatever coins I had and chucked it on the table. Instead of saying sorry for the inconvenience, he was pissed at me giving him 2 x 5 sen coins! WHAT THE F?

Maybe it was the sashimi that kept my cool cos I was surprised why I didn’t yell at that incompetent piece of nutjob. I made it out of the parking just in time but i guess the next time i come here, I’d probably not park in the basement.

I’ve always wondered why

  1. Guys wind down the driver side window put their right hand out of the car as if “clutching” the side of the door? OR resting their elbow on the window frame and grasping the top of the frame with their hand?
  2. Some cars are patched up like Frankenstein? i.e. bonnet, door, back door, spoilers, bumpers all different colours.
  3. People still throw thrash out of the car window. Sometimes you see them toss mangosteen shells or rambutan skins. Wonder anyone tossed durian seeds before?
  4. Dashboards are covered in fur? Zebra, leopard, tiger prints, u name it.
  5. Some drivers hold their SmartTags up when there’s like 5 cars lined up in front of them
  6. We enter parking lots even though the sign says “FULL”?
  7. People place so many stuffed toys at the area between the back seat and the rear door? And why they are obsessed with Pink Panther?
  8. We need to wear our seatbelts when the cops themselves don’t?
  9. Some try so hard to change the branding on their cars? i.e. Perodua Myvi to Toyota Passo?
  10. There are inconsiderate people who park their car in between 2 parking lots. Blind ka?

Winner of worst customer service – Logenhaus Taipan USJ

We had our team lunch today at Logenhaus in Taipan USJ. We’ve never been here and the Bosh suggested trying the place out since 1) it sounded German and 2) they sell beer. The place looks kinda shabby, the décor is minimal and it really didn’t give me the impression that we’re gonna get any good food here (plus I did look up some reviews and they were bad. Really bad).

So we sat down and came this old Chinese lady in her 50s, dressed in a white shirt (somewhat like my secondary school short sleeved white shirt), grey hair, glasses resting on the tip of her nose and speaking in Manglish she took our order. For simplicity sake I’m calling her the CMLWTOO (Chinese Menopausal Lady Who Took Our Order)

She went around the table (there was 15 of us) jotting down the orders and during the whole process from taking our order to waiting for the food to be served to after we were done eating, here’s a snippet of the conversations that took place:

- – - – -

Bosh: Can I have orange juice please?

CMLWTOO: We no have orange juice. (which restaurant doesn’t have orange juice?!?!?!)

Bosh: What do you have?

CMLWTOO: Whatever is in the menu is what we have

- – - – -

Me: I’d like the chicken chop. And can I swap rice with fries?

CMLWTOO: Yours come with fries not rice (with a frown on her face)

Me: Oh…ok. Thanks.

- – - – -

Bosh: Can I have the beef burger? And I’d like to swap the veggies with fries.

CMLWTOO: Sorry, we no have fries, only wedges.

Bosh: You don’t have fries?

CMLWTOO: No fries, only wedges.

Me: Wait a minute, you just said my chicken chop comes with fries? Plus in your menu it says fries?

CMLWTOO: Fries is a simple word. That’s why we use that in the menu. But we no have fries. Just wedges.

Me: (in my mind I was about to throw the pepper and salt shaker at this woman)

Bosh: Ok, wedges is fine with me.

- – - – -

Waiter: (serves everyone a bowl of soup of the day, my Bosh gets a bowl but he wasn’t having the lunch set menu so technically he’s not supposed to get 1)

Bosh: Erm, I ordered a ghoulash.

CMLWTOO: Wait, so you still want your ghoulash? Since you drink the soup already?

Bosh PA: He hasn’t touched it!

Me: Can you take it away and bring his goulash please?

CMLWTOO: (walks away with a tu lan face)

- – - – -

Bosh PA: (as she is sipping her guava juice, CMLWTOO appears….)

CMLWTOO: I think you are drinking apple juice.

Bosh PA: No, its guava juice!

CMLWTOO: No, I think you took your friend’s apple juice

Bosh PA: Hello, I know what I’m drinking ok. You didn’t serve the apple juice to my colleague yet.

CMLWTOO:  (sulking and walks away)

- – - – -

Me: Hi, can I have the dessert menu please?

CMLWTOO: Sorry we only have ice cream

Me: OH-KAY. What flavours do u have?

CMLWTOO: Wait (continues to take coffee and tea orders; of which she suddenly cuts in and says) espresso, sarsi, hazelnut.

Bosh PA: What’s the sarsi one?

CMLWTOO: It’s not sarsi, its Stra-see. Chocolate chip and vanilla (I looked this up on the internet and it’s actually Stracciatella)

Bosh PA: Oh, ok espresso for me

- – - – -

I tell you, I was so pissed with this lady. She was rude, had bad table manners, cocky and think we owe her the world!! Honestly speaking, the mains were mediocre (you could eat it, swallow it, but its not mind blowing) and GAWD the nachos were pathetic! Imagine this – corn chips with sliced olives, with melted cheese on top of ONE corn chip AND sprinkled with green pickled wan tan mee chillies. I almost died.

Bosh’s PA later told us that when she made the booking, and she asked for the name of the person she spoke to (which happened to be CMLWTOO) she merely said “I’m the only lady here”. Double U-Tee-Eff !!!

I award this place for having the worst customer service. Please do not visit Logenhaus for the food is pathetic and you don’t want to endure having to deal with the CMLWTOO. ‘Nuff said.

You know you’re behind a P driver when

  1. She puts on her indicator light suddenly, slows down immediately and forces her way into your lane, when her scheduled exit is another 1km away
  2. She comes to a complete halt upon arriving at a round-a-bout; even if there’s no cars rounding the round-a-bout
  3. She is driving at night without her car lights switched on, along a well-lit highway
  4. Her car seat is pushed so near the steering wheel her breasts are almost resting on it
  5. She has to remove her seat belt, open the door and stretch far out to reach for the green button on a parking ticket issuing machine
  6. You drive past her and she has this look on her face that says “I shouldn’t be driving”
  7. You drive past her and she has this look on her face that says “I don’t know where I’m going”
  8. The traffic light turns green, her car moves about 2 metres and then chokes for a bit–then mati-engine–and she immediately switches on her hazard lights.
  9. She has a stupid yellow sign that says “Don’t follow me, I’m lost too”
  10. She causes a traffic jam in a shopping mall parking lot trying to reverse park, attempting 5 times before ditching the plan and returning the traffic flow to normal.

Unfortunately … most of these P drivers who commit these crimes are women. The sad truth.

Spam

Sometimes spam manages to slip through the filters and finds itself in my work mail inbox. I always get spam that slipped through quarantine which are in Chinese, Greek, and occasionally content that has jumbled up kinda symbols. Then there are English ones where some rich bloke wants to share his inheritance with you. There’s also other English ones like this one I got about 30 minutes ago.

It’s OK if you found my email address on my company website

It’s OK if you don’t understand that you should contact me only if you’re interested to speak in any of our 6 conferences

It’s OK if you call me “Sir”

And its perfectly OK if you try to sell me your products and services.

-

—-

But, could you at least check if I’m in your part of the country in order for your spam to appeal to me?

spam

The thorn of the rose

I love weddings. Everyone’s smiling and laughing, the mood is joyful, the couple is blissfully happy, and the music fills the air with tunes of sappy and poppy love songs. Perfect, until the Dai Kam Jie’s (DKJ) high-pitched voice; nostrils blaring and all; grabs hold of the microphone and begins her torture toast session on the 500-odd guests at a typical Chinese wedding banquet.

First of all I’d like to thank God that we weren’t asked/forced/drilled-into-our-brains that we had to have one at our wedding.

Lady Ceremony Masters (more like busybodies) they call themselves, the DKJ seems to be a staple at very-Cina type of weddings. They play a part in the wedding from the morning the groom picks up his bride, to the tea ceremony, to entering the bridal room, to the wedding dinner toast and even the entertainment at the wedding banquet (depending on the DKJ’s talent of course).

At my nephew’s wedding dinner last night, there I was, hoping to catch up with all my 60+ odd uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews, nieces whom I last hung out with at my own wedding—DKJ takes centre stage immediately after the suckling pig was served (which, was awesome btw).

Singing Screaming rhymes which are all flowery and auspicious, she repeats the same process with a variety of rhymes when:

  • She invites the bride and groom to the stage
  • She invites the bride and groom to cut the wedding cake
  • She invites the groom to pop the champagne and together they fill the pyramid of glasses
  • She invites the bride and grooms parents and siblings onto the stage for the toast

So there you have, about 15 people on the stage, glasses in their hands, wanting to get the 3 yum sengs over and done with. DKJ goes into a trance and starts singing screaming her rhymes, Manglish and what not. The dish to follow after the suckling pig was not served  for the purpose of having 100% of our attention for the toast, which means, we couldn’t keep ourselves busy by eating.

10 minutes into the supposed toast, everyone on stage has got a tu lan look on their faces, waiting impatiently for her to be over and done with. Here’s the deal though, what job pays you for pissing people off, be in the centre of attention, and shine brighter than the bride and groom? On top of that, you can add onto your working experience in your CV and get re-hired for other wedding jobs.

Although DKJs are not my cup of tea, there’s nothing wrong with being having one. *PSSSSSTTT* Anyone wants to hire me to be a DKJ? I can be as loud as you want me to be. And I promise I’ll be singing, not screaming.

Observations of my own driving etiquette

I’ve had numerous comments about my driving attitude  and manners (having been driving for 10 years I’m quite defensive over these comments).  So over the weekend I made some observations of myself when I’m on the road. Here are the findings:

I seem to unconsciously tailgate – Dave tells me all the time “don’t drive so near”. I always deny it but when I think about it, I do drive kinda close to the car in front of me, especially when we’re slowing down to a crawl. In actual fact, I do that to show the car that’s tailgating behind me that I am driving really close up to the car in front of me so take a hike and don’t follow me so near. Bleks.

I don’t signal way before I want to change lanes – I do this (just like the other 5 million drivers in Malaysia, source unknown) to protect my right to change lanes comfortably. If I signal too soon, some idiot will speed up and stop me from getting into his/her lane. Idiots!

I am too chicken shit to park illegally – this is very true. I’ve never dared to park for hours in an alleyway, or up a pavement, or in between pillars at the mall. But I’ve done numerous quick double parking stints. Yup, I’m chicken shit.

I assume every time I hear a honk, its directed to me – This is a bizarre one. Every time someone honks, I’ll say “who pon?” and I start looking around to see which idiot honked at me, although 80% of the time it wasn’t meant for me. I know, I know. I feel that way cos I know my driving sucks, k?

I don’t give way – this is particularly evident, every morning when I take the same route to work. What I mean by this is that every genius on the same route as me don’t seem to understand what it means to keep in lane!! I’ve even tried to out-squeeze a bas kilang but, fail lah. I just get annoyed and won’t give way if you’re not keeping to your lane, can?

I find it hard to “let-go” - Driving means you gotta pay attention to the road and vehicles in front of your, but I find that when I drive past an idiot on the road, I’ll continue to look into my rear view mirror and comment about what a stupid move he/she did and how he/she could have did it this way/that way and how he/she should not even be on the streets. Yup, I have a real issue with letting go.

I am a casual lane switcher – I switch lanes casually meaning that I tend to weave between cars not at excessive speeds but moderately and end up “zig-zagging” on the highway. And yet I find it hard to let-go when I drive pass other casual lane switchers and comment on how they don’t stick to their lanes. This one’s a real eye opener.

P1000859

“Keep a safe distance from this car”

Terrifying I know, to find that I have such tendencies on the streets. Out of all the points above I only scored 1 point for obediently parking at marked spots. But miraculously, it’s fair to say that so far (touch wood) I’ve had an accident-free record (meaning that I’ve never bumped into anyone) and I’ve only received one really lame speeding ticket (doing a 90km/h at a 80km/h area off the SILK highway). OK, I will pay more attention to my etiquette and be a better driver, aits?

Thank God for looking over me.